“You don’t need to go out tonight, babe. I don’t like the way your friends talk about me.”
“Why do you need to wear that? It’s too revealing.”
“You spent how much? You should have asked me first.”
At first, Emma thought these were just signs of love and care. Mark wasn’t hitting her, he wasn’t screaming at her, so how could it be abuse?
But one day, she found herself hesitating before texting a friend back, because she knew Mark would check her messages. She second-guessed what she wore, where she went, and who she talked to.
That’s when it hit her. She wasn’t making choices anymore, Mark was.
What Is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a pattern of manipulation that limits your freedom, isolates you, and makes you feel powerless. Unlike physical domestic violence, coercive control leaves no visible bruises, but its damage runs deep.
Red Flags That You May Be in a Controlling Relationship:
- Your partner tracks your location or checks your phone
- They make you feel guilty for wanting time alone or with friends
- They control money and make financial decisions for you
- They threaten to hurt themselves or take the kids if you leave
- You constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells
For Emma, the realisation was painful. This wasn’t love. It was control.
Breaking Free from Coercive Control
Leaving a controlling partner can feel terrifying, especially when they’ve made you believe you can’t survive without them or worse, won’t survive it you leave. But you are stronger than they want you to think.
Steps to Take:
- Recognize the warning signs: If it feels wrong, trust your gut.
- Reach out for support: Talk to someone who understands.
- Get legal protection: Coercive control is now recognised as a form of domestic and family violence, and legal help is available.
Emma reached out to a lawyer who helped her secure a protection order and a domestic violence support worker to help her escape and regain her independence. Today, she’s free from the fear that once controlled her life.
You Deserve Freedom & Safety
If these signs sound familiar, you are not alone. Help is available, and you have the right to a life free from control.
Contact us today for the legal support in regaining independence.
If you are in immediate danger, call 000. Support for women is available 24/7 with DV Connect. Contact Womenline on 1800 811 811.
Support for men is available 24/7 with MensLine Australia by phoning 1300 78 99 78