What are the Effects of Divorce on Children?
Parental separation can turn a child’s life upside down. Generally, separated parents have good intentions to shield their children from conflict. Sometimes however, children can feel as though they are the rope in a tug-of-war battle.
Conflict between parents can be as obvious as physical altercations, yelling or name calling. More subtle conflict, can be overhearing nasty comments about the other parent, seeing Mum roll her eyes when Dad calls or Dad suggesting his household is better than Mum’s household.
Divorce can have adverse psychological effects on children, as their perceptions and behaviours change due to the conflict they witness.
How Do Children Cope With Their Parents Getting a Divorce?
As a coping mechanism, some children lie about what happens in the other household to prevent conflict or to not upset a parent. For example, if Dad has a new partner, a child may describe the new partner to Mum as mean and nasty, when in fact she is not, just so Mum won’t be upset. Some children feel they have to say negative things about the other parent to receive affection.
Over time, these children can become so desperate for acceptance they will say and do anything to appease people in their life to the extent they begin to engage in dangerous activities.
Where parents cannot communicate at all, children can feel it is their responsibility to organise time arrangements. This may be appropriate for children who are older teenagers, young children should just be left to be children and not be burdened.
What is a “High Conflict” Divorce and Why Should You Avoid This Situation?
A high conflict divorce is when a marriage ends with bitter feelings between spouses, where children can often be used in pawns in a battle over who gets what within the divorce. Exposure to frequent high conflict between parents can have an enormous negative impact upon a child’s mental health and can impact relationships they have with other people when they grow older.
